Category: Tech News

Ford recently pulled the plug on VIIZR, leaving tradespeople high and dry. The startup, aimed at streamlining life for tradespeople, was given the boot by Ford, resulting in a flurry of layoffs. Unfortunately, Ford’s attempt at blending technology with a wrench-wielding mercenary didn’t last long. Just like that one-hit wonder band, VIIZR’s debut was brief and left us wanting more. Perhaps if they had stuck around, they could have created an app to help mechanics understand why car companies are so unpredictable. But hey, such is life, as your plumber would say.

Introducing the latest horror flick: “Ice Skating on Coin Base: The Bear Market Hootenanny.” Picture this: Coinbase, the great white shark of fintech, gracefully surfing on a wave of increasing interest-centric revenues. But don’t be fooled by the seemingly placid waters, chaos lurks beneath. Will Coinbase soar or plummet off the icy edge? Only the capricious gods of finance know.

Time to bid farewell to your hideous heap of cables, folks! Apple’s iPhone 15 is here to solve your cable-management migraine with its USB-C upgrade. Say goodbye to stumbling over a snake-pit of cords every time you reach for your phone. With just one cable to rule them all, simplify your techno-life and eliminate the need for multiple chargers. And if you’re a movie buff, rejoice! You can now output video via your iPhone, giving you a seamless Netflix experience on any TV. It may have taken us until iPhone 15 to create a phone that uses the same charger as every other device, but hey, better late than never. Say goodbye to that box of discarded, mismatched cables and embrace the joy of tech-evolution!

Move over Transformers, because LA Mayor Karen Bass is taking a stand against state agency control and fighting for LA to have the authority to decide the future of robotaxi services. In this LA Game of Thrones, there are fewer dragons and more driverless cars. TechCrunch? More like TechSpill, as Mayor Bass implies that the city’s robotaxi regulations should be decided by the community, not state tech nerds sipping on their cold brew. Beyond LA, this battle between local and state authority could set a precedent for tech innovations nationwide. It’s like a Universal Pictures plot, with cities taking control of their technological future. Let’s just hope the robotaxis don’t turn into Transformers before we get there!

Stability AI, known for their text-to-image AI model, Stable Diffusion, has taken the AI world by storm once again with their latest creation, Stable 3D. Sick of the shallowness of text, they’ve delved into the exciting world of 3D model creation tools. It’s like watching your favorite sidekick character from a sitcom get their own spin-off show. No longer settled with flat data, Stability AI has added an extra dimension to the game. Way to go, Stability AI!

Brave, the tech company, is roaring into the browser scene with Leo, an AI assistant that aims to revolutionize the browsing experience. For those looking for an even more luxurious browsing experience, Leo Premium offers larger language models and higher limits – all for the price of a forgotten gym membership. So, sit back and let the king of the digital jungle guide you through the tech wilderness. And while we wait for AI to answer life’s big questions, we’ll just enjoy pretending we’re in a fancy period drama with Leo as our loyal butler.

Skynet meets firewall in the newest AI thriller, and it’s not just about Spotify playlists anymore. Wraithwatch, armed with white-hat AI, is here to battle the digital underworld of malware and cyber attacks. Get ready to say goodbye to deciphering alien-like codes and hello to a cyber world protected by nerd fire. Let’s hope your server holds up better than the last slice of pizza at a techie feast!

Zephr has emerged from hiding with a revolutionary plan to turn your lousy phone GPS into gold. Their ambitious strategy aims to transform your average cell phone GPS from total trash to total treasure, without any hardware modifications. This overhaul is a game changer for app developers, unlocking the untapped potential of our pocket-sized computers. Zephr’s tactical move has thrust their transformative plan into the limelight, proving that their stealthy origins were just a clever ruse. Brace yourself for the burning hot take – Zephr’s masterstroke plan is a GPS-guided missile towards better location accuracy. Welcome to the future, where your cell phone GPS isn’t garbage anymore!

Millions are erupting in ecstatic applause as the new ‘Matter’ standard edges its day in the smarty-panty tech sun. It’s an exciting interoperability standard backed by tech juggernauts like Apple, Amazon, Google, and Samsung. No more crying yourself to sleep over whether your next smart device will gel with your existing ones. Consider your smart home dilemmas solved! Hold onto your monocles, because this isn’t the end of the Matter trail. Who knows, your toaster might soon start talking to your fridge. So, while you ponder over these upcoming Matter marvels and draw up your wish-list, remember – your old devices might not speak “Matter,” but they matter too!

In a surprising move, Google has showered Anthropic with a cool $2 billion, proving that money can indeed buy love. As OpenAI sits comfortably on the AI throne, Anthropic has joined the battle for supremacy, thanks to Google’s deep pockets. It seems those who can’t build AI, invest in it instead, and Google is leading the way. While we can’t spill all the details, the AI takeover (and its financial success) is very much a reality. So let’s raise a glass to never-ending innovation and hope our future robot overlords have a sense of humor. Cheers!